Train Ride

I mentioned briefly on my last post something that had happened on my train ride from St Pete's to Moscow. Now I might actually get a chance to finish the story. I arrive at the train station with seconds to spare. Usually on train rides, (especially overnighters) I take the deluxe first class rooms. These normally cost no more than 30 or 40 dollars and allow seating for two instead of the standard 4 in standard class. Additionally, there is an economy class I have had the pleasure of sitting in once, which is an entirely open container with benches everywhere. The rule of thumb there is that you find your seat and don't get up, or someone else will take it. On the trip returning to Moscow, I decided to be a little adventurous and get into a 4-seater cabin. Mind you, this wasn't that big of a deal to me, as I had done it plenty of times during my travels on Siberian railways. Besides I have come to realize that though people on the west of the Urals might not be as pleasant to be around, most of them speak English, so it would allow me to talk in my native tongue a bit. Possibly, even meet a girl going to Moscow. I arrive in my cabin to find my seat (18) on the bottom bunk facing the front of the train. Little problem here, and additionally I find a family following me in: A large middle-aged man and a mother and her daughter. After a little discussion, it is disclosed that I am a foreigner (my Scotland shirt bought in Edinburgh wasn't as inconspicuous as I previously thought). The recognition of a foreigner in his midst gets the man slightly worked up and asks me what I am doing in Russia and if I like it. I respond in the affirmative and state that I am an oilfield worker in the West Siberian region. At the hearing of an oil field worker (Neftianik), he asks if I like Russian vodka. Hesitantly (as I was considering the possible outcomes of my reaction), I again respond in the affirmative. Upon hearing this, he cordially invites me to share a half-liter of vodka he just recently bought in preparation for this instance. I reluctantly accept, as though I do not have that wanton desire to drink that I have found so predominate in the Siberian region, I wish to respect his hospitality and perhaps obtain some assistance in nodding off on the train. He opens the bottle, and pours half a plastic cup of vodka for each of us. Now one thing I have learned since my arrival in Russia is that my tolerance to alcohol, vodka almost exclusively, has increased a fair share. The first shot was completed without hesitation and I almost immediately noticed a response in my traveling companion. It was at this point that I realized that the mother and daughter were of no relation to this man. The look of disdain they showed him in trying to get me to drink and in his pleasure in the vodka showed me what generations of alcoholism have impressed onto the mindset of this culture. The amount of vodka purchased only provided two such shots as had previously been taken and those were finished within 20 minutes. Now you must also remember that the previous day I had just completed an all-u-can drink vodka special at a bar in St. Pete's so I had no desire to drink anymore than what would be considered respectful. Upon completion of the last cup, the man sitting beside me had become inebriated to the point that he was swaying side to side even while sitting down. I myself had not yet felt any side effects from the alcoholic toxins just ingested. However at this time I learned that the man wanted another bottle, though I could easily see he in no way required additional means of obtaining that drunken stupor so many people I have met in this country long for. At this point, I decided to take the dive. I immediately acted the part of being overly intoxicated, complaining of feeling light headed and very tired. My suggestion that it was time to sleep was accepted by all in the cabin as the two women were getting quite annoyed at the antics of the fourth of our group. As he left to smoke his final cigarette before sleeping, I concluded it would most likely be best if I were to take the top bunk of the man to avoid the trouble of him climbing up and possibly falling off. I suggested this to him and was immediately rejected. He - what's an antonym for agile? - reached the top bunk and quickly fell to sleep. Finally having some peace and quiet, I retreated to my bunk to listen to my MP3 player. After about an hour, upon arriving to a track entitled Free by a group known as V.A.S.T., I hear a large bang in the darkness and immediately turn on my light expecting the worse. The worse was nothing as I had expected. The initial bang was caused by the drunken man falling the 3 feet from his bunk onto a table sitting on the end of the aisle dividing the two sets of bunks. Upon hitting the table he must have rolled to the side as by the time I turned the light on I saw him lying on top of the mother, her underneath trying to squirm out from underneath him. After quite a few efforts, we were able to move him enough to get her out of the trap, however he would not budge. Every attempt I could make was shoved to the side allowing him to pass off again into nonexistence. Even a cup of water thrown by mother provided no further response besides a wet and hung-over man wondering what had happened the previous night. No amount of work could get him to move and the mother chose to go to the train security attendant to assist in the matter. The security officer arrived to the cabin, took one look and declared it wasn't his problem. We were to deal with it ourselves. It was at this point that I gave up, offering my bunk to the mother and taking the top (the one I had previously offered to take from the man) for myself.

It is perhaps stories such as this that provide Russia with the well-known (but not entirely inaccurate) stereotype of rampant alcoholism. Another reason I am happy to be American.

.: Scatterbrain - Radiohead (3:23) :.

Stories of a drunken country

Ok, in this post or the next, I'm gonna get something off my chest that happened when I was taking the train back from St. Petersburg to Moscow. Nothing bad per say, though it was a bit of an experience. Nope, not gonna be now... work to be done.

_{.: Hyperspeed (G-Force Part 2) - The Prodigy (5:15) :.}

Another Americans Thoughts on Russia.

Before I just recently returned to work, I had a few days to kill and decided to waste them on the famously "European" city of northern Russia, St. Petersburg. The name derives from its creator, Peter the Great who had a goal during his reign to make Russia into a European nation. He attempted throughout his entire reign to open the borders, promote trade, and obtain a broader understanding of the world for all his people. It is by far the most beautiful city I have seen to this point in Russia, both in architecture and individuals. I arrived to my hostel to find that of the 40+ beds in the facility, I was to take up an entire 2.5 % of them (that's 1 bed in 40 occupied). At this I became slightly dissapointed as the primary reason I choose hostels is to meet people, which is very hard to do while traveling alone. In the course of the next 4 hours however, an additional 3 Americans showed up at the doorstep for lodging. The following is an excerpt of a mass email from one of them, Thomas, a goth loan officer from Sacramento with 22 piercings and spiked hair.

(Yeah, and people used to talk about how much I stood out in a foreign country..)

I began my evening by meeting Natasha for coffee at what appears to be the Russian Starbucks (and I was told coffee and chocolate would be unobtainable in Russia?). Together we talked about her upbringing, religion, our families and how it came that she now lives in St.Petersburg and my choice to visit (okay, so my lack of Russian and her limited english led me to believe that was our discussion, but maybe we were simply noting the weather). I talked her into allowing me record some of our conversation on a digital recorder I picked up last minute at the SF airport. It shall become one of my most favored souvenirs. Afterwards while walking her to the metro she explained the reason for everyone’s stares. It is not my lip piercing as I imagined but my side burns of which leave the Russians amazed. Natasha says that there is a Russian word to describe me which means three words in English. #1. Beauty, #2. Strange, #3. "a little funny". She assures me that this is a good thing and should not create for me a complex. I express that my ego is too engrained for such. In our farewell, we arranged to hopefully meet again for more coffee and or drinks over the next few nights while I remain in St.Petes. Could it be because I got the bill? hahaha...
After my company departed I set out to discover the flood lit St.Petersburg on my own. Over two hours I wandered the streets, alleyways, multiple bridges, with "The Cure" creating the atmosphere through my MP3 player, while the skies turned to rain. The combination of light, rain, and lack of sleep equated to a beautiful night. I took photo after photo while having to remind myself not to forget to experience everything while trying to obtain the best shot.
While returning to the hostel I had my first "questionable" experience with three random Russians. I was alone, crossing a bridge, when confronted. They, as I felt, became too close for comfort while all three spoke in Russian. Without a word to say, forgetting even how to speak in English at this point, I chose to instead retreat at a fast pace to the nearest side street. They followed me with what seemed aggression, though in all fairness, this may have been my interpretation due to fear. I was not however willing to wait around for them to justify such. As they followed closely speaking in what seemed to be anger I expressed my ability to speak English only. The head crony then laughed as he motioned that it was a cigarette they were in search of. Still nervous, we shook hands and I communicated that I had none. Thereafter the other two men again closed in on me and I felt it was time for me to exit their company immediately. Ignoring their further pleas I departed.
Back now entering my residence I was greeted by the host as she was on her way out. She said that they had been in search of me in the hostel (I filled one of the two occupied beds in over 40 available) as they just made pancakes and wished to share. She said they wanted to offer me many, though since they could not find me, only one remained. She had covered it and left it in the kitchen for my return. A great example of Russian hospitality!
I took this time in the warmth to try calling whoever was reachable at home. My hostel has free international calls and internet service which any traveler knows must be taken advantage of. While talking on the phone I was passed by the hostels other occupant, wearing a Scottish tee-shirt and looking of western decent. After ending my calls I found his name to be "Rich", a 23 year old from Tennessee who is working as an engineer for an oil company in the dead of Siberia. After each seven week cycle of non-stop drilling, he is allowed 3 weeks personal time. I believe he has now been doing so for a year and a half. This personal time has allowed him to travel England, Scotland and France, but he decided on this trip to revisit Moscow and St.Petersburg. As he just arrived that morning, I asked if he cared to join me for a pub crawl. That he did and so our night began. We headed out with advice from the host as to the places we should visit. (Side note: Our host had just previously shared her "honest personality" when explaining she once provided a traveler with two notes written in Russian which were supposed to read his need for a train ticket from St.Petersburg to Moscow. She clearly explained that if the women at the ticket counter said "niet" (no) to the first note, he should then follow by providing her with the second. Well, when he returned to the hostel in confusion he expressed in amazement that there were not tickets to Moscow. She then informed him that her first note was a joke which stated "I find you to be very beautiful and wish to invite you to a late night walk after you are off work". When the anticipated "niet" response was to be given the second note read "well then, if you wish not to walk with me, then I shall instead need a ticket to Moscow". The translation of the first note explained why the male ticket agents would not accept the second note from him, allowing him his real request...) Our first night club displayed exactly what the guidebooks prepare you for. Three strippers dancing upon poles, prostitutes abound seeking their prey, and local russians moving to the music upon the floor. I would say dancing but I can not credit their movements with such a description. Myself, being a Gothic kid at heart, who can knowingly dance however am always unsure as to how my dancing style will be perceived by foreigners (oh yeah, I am the foreigner, yes?). I was however given a compliment from a new Russian friend "Andrew" who joined Rich and me at the bar. Andrew asked if we wished to join him at another bar as he said the one we were in would be closing at 3am. I know what you’re thinking, but no he wasn't gay, though we did question his kindness and intentions. After some time we accepted his offer hesitantly. So much so that as we walked outside with him, Rich and I had second thoughts of our company. We instead decided to try and shed Andrew and move on to another club ourselves. Our mind was on such when quickly we walked down the street hoping to loose him. We however were surprised at this point to make new company with five approaching Police Officers calling out to all of us. Now if you did not know, the President of Russia has recently stated that tourist visiting his nation should not fear that of rampant crime from locals, but the rampant crime from his Mafia driven, uncontrollable Police. Prepared for this you are given advice on how to handle this situation which I attempted. First of all, our new friend "Andrew" was quick to point out that he was Russian and therefore the officer’s attention should instead be on us, the two Americans. I myself acted as to not know Russian (as I don't) nor understand the broken English of which the officers spoke. Therefore allowing Rich to translate for both of us. The officers asked if we had drugs, guns and or weapons on us of which Rich assured them we did not. They then began to search us for the like (Meaning they were really searching for nothing more than money which I had wisely stashed within a hidden pocket when the police initially approached. As in Russia, you are always guilty but can buy your freedom). When emptying my pockets to display their content I noticed my stupidity as I had a caffeine tablet on my person. Mind you this is perfectly legal in America and has no more effect than that of several cups of coffee great for night which will prove to include a lot of alcohol. However in Russia, it can easily be confused as drugs. MY GOD MY STUPIDITY!!!! I instantly had every episode of "COPS" in my mind as I attempted to gracefully drop the tablet and instead capture the officer’s attention using my chap stick. IT WORKED!!! Probably the only reason I can write to you today. The resolve of the situation led to the Police discovering no more then 10 rubles on Rich and no money on me, therefore after checking that we had proper documentation, let us be. Our night closed with 3 more shots of Votka at the second bar; to street vendor hamburgers (bad choice but I ate it anyways). This morning I woke up with the room still spinning...Though nothing that another night out can't repair!!!

Cheers, Thomas

This was only the first of several adventures we had. One the second night we were invited by another of the Americans (also from Sacremento, though going to St Petersburg University) to go to an bar run and operated by a middle aged American woman. I must say I am astonished at how my views of Russia and the people coincide with other Americans that have been in the country for a time. Even with an entirely different experience and living more than 2000 km apart, we had plenty of things to talk about, and additionally more than enough warnings and tips to give to the other two guys new to Russia. The clencher on this decision to go to the bar was the special offered between the times of 8-11. During that time, for the low price of 10 dollars, ALL the vodka in Russia was available to us. In order to maintain our dignity, and our ability to walk to the next bar once the clock struck 11, we made a mutual decision to ration our drinking taking only 1 shot every 15 minutes, though making sure to chase it with beer. Thomas, the same Thomas who had written the above excerpt, was found after shot 9 passed out in the bathroom for 20 minutes, and thus began our night. Suffice it to say I made it back at 5 in the morning (after having taken Thomas back at 10) to find one of the guys talking in a drunken banter to his friends back in the states, and the other fast asleep, waking up just enough to occasionally make it (or not as it sometimes happened) to the nearby bathroom.

getting by

Well, as I think I previously mentioned, I was in England for the past few weeks for training and then traveling around with my mother. I know am back in Moscow, though I still have about a week left before I go back to Siberia. During that week I was planning to go to St. Petersburg, a city I hear is the nicest in Russia, though I have been here a year and still haven't seen it. I tried to buy the tickets (by train) online, though I was informed it was a Saturday and nocouldn'tone wanted to work and get them purchased. So I was forced to go to the train station myself. I figured it couldn't be that hard, I was told the train station to go to (there are a few in the city) and I knew the train already. No problem. I get off the metro and look around. There was a train station to my immediate left, but I couldn't see a name for it. Lets ask the attendant... You say it is over my shoulder to the right? OK, time to walk over there... Oh, here it is... Still no name though... Time to ask again. Well this is when it got a little confusing, instead of them saying "After the fast train?" which I didn't quite understand, it took me another attendant to realize she actually met "through the bistro". See, bistro and fast are the same thing in Russian, its sorta their equivalent of fast food, and became a legacy in France when they occupied the country for a short time. Walking through the bistro, I see a huge sign on the opposite wall with the name of the station I am looking for. I am there at last, and only do I learn there that the service online for foreigners charged about 300% the cost you get if you can go up and ask for it yourself. Talk about railway robbery. I leave for SPB tonight... In a train booth with 4 beds... It's always fun to convince people I am a foreigner, as they never believe me.

Finally... another email

Hi,
Excuse me in advance for the length of this novella, but theres a lot I want to mention, a lot I have experienced, and presently, a lot of time on my hands. Each of these alone would contribute to a moderate sized email, but as its been almost 3 months since my last email, and I have told more than half of you that I would send out an email soon (almost 3 months ago I started saying that), its about time for it all to come out. So, where do I start? How about with my trip to jail.

Yes, you heard me correctly, but I will give you a little background on the situation before going straight to the fun part. My friends and I decided one night to go walking around on the streets of Nizhnevartovsk, the city I currently reside in when I am in Siberia. Almost everyone during the summer time follows this course, as they need to get as much of the outdoors as possible before the cold comes in and makes it impossible to stay out for more than a few minutes. Once the snow clears from the ground, tents pop up around the city offering food, drink, and music, allowing the locals a little reprieve from the monotonous life that is consequence of living in an isolated community. (The nearest city to the place I am living is 1 hour by car) One night, while our group was reveling in the freedom from work we finally attain after 9 PM, we received a call that a fellow coworker was being detained at the police station, though we didn't know the exact reason why. Upon hearing this, we jumped into the car and arrived at the police station to see if we could offer any assistance and perhaps ascertain what the trouble was. Apparently after leaving us at around 11, my friend desperately needed to use the facilities while walking back to his apartment. Having a journey of more than 20 minutes until arrival, and there being few public facilities open even during daylight hours, he found woods close by and decided to make the best of what nature had to offer. A police officer happened to see this, resulting in the call I have mentioned previously. Apparently, from what I have heard, this is not quite an uncommon occurrence, as even a slight transgression as this can grant the officer a decent monetary tip at the end of the day. So there we were, waiting outside the police station, a friend going inside to see what could be done to help, when a quite irritated police officer came out telling us to leave the premises immediately. It was decided to wait for departure until our second friend returned as we were not about to leave a second person in the station without knowing exactly what was going on. In the 10 minutes it took until he came back outside, the officer had noticed I was a foreigner and wanting to cause a little bit more trouble for us, asked to see my passport. Now as I have learned, it is not the best idea to leave your passport on your person especially when living a day to day life in Siberia, and as such I did not have anything to offer the officer. My excuses of it being in my apartment weren't well heeded and he proceeded to conduct me into the station as well. The two remaining friends outside tried to help for the time being, however the officer was stern in his response. I at this point was not afraid in the slightest, as I knew I had done nothing wrong, however when looked upon in retrospect, I realize I probably should have been more wary though at that point there was nothing more I could do to help myself. I simply told these two remaining friends the whereabouts of my passport in the apartment and wished them luck, though obviously I didn't have much to give. I was placed in a cell, which was fortunately empty while I waited for what was to come. Apparently about 30 minutes after my entrance, the two of my friends in that station came out, the first of which having received a slap on the wrist as well as paying a fine of 30 dollars which went straight into the officer's pocket. While one friend returned to the apartment to get my passport, the remaining friends requested to know what they had done with me and why I was being treated like this. After a heated 10 minute discussion between them and the officer who had put me in, he realized this whole thing was more trouble than it was worth and let me loose, though not without throwing some off color remarks at us as I was walking out. Overall, not an extremely action packed experience, though it grants me the opportunity to state that I have been to Siberian prison, or at least a holding cell, a feat, though interesting, will doubtless be left out of my next resume.

Following my run in with the police, I began to prepare for my next vacation. A couple problems had arisen which somewhat limited my possible destinations. First of all, my Visa was about to expire in Russia and as one fortunate consequence, the Russian government required me to leave the country in order to accomplish this. Early vacation! So now that I knew I could leave, I was forced to choose a destination outside of the US. I learned prior to my plans that federal taxes must be paid by all citizens of the US, UNLESS that individual can stay away from the country for 30 out of the 365 days that make up a year… I was at 29. Making a long story short, I arrived in Sydney, Australia the beginning of July after having bought two separate plane tickets, and traveling 22 hours to a city halfway across the world. My final decision to go there was mostly because I was trying to visit an English speaking location where I could relax while still experiencing a new local. One thing about Australia: its huge. It turns out that when you compare the size of Australia to the US, it covers almost the 2/3rds the entire continental US. Granted, its not three times the size of it as Russia is, but still its pretty daunting when I originally thought it would be like visiting another country in Europe. Needless to say, the 2 weeks I was there wasn't near enough time to experience basically anything but the occasional beach and perhaps a bar or two... or three (hey, I said I was relaxing!)

As all good things come to an end, I ultimately made the trip back to Siberia a day after my birthday to begin work again. To my surprise, I obtained a package while I was in Moscow that was sent from the States. Enclosed was a group of envelopes containing birthday cards. I want to thank all of you that sent cards to my Mom allowing her to send them to me, and also to all the people that sent to my Dad, where they remain until my return. I know in the past I have never given an address of the location I am staying, mostly as I never know exactly which of the 4 locations in Siberia that I will be staying, however I guess now its about time I give you all at least some contact information if you ever wish to get a hold of me.

First is the address of the office in Moscow. If it is sent (even with writing in English) in care to myself, I should have no problem to receive it during my subsequent visit to Moscow. The address is:
Richard Alesi
Schlumberger Logelco Inc.,
Taganskaya 9
Moscow 109004
Russia

Phone numbers are a different matter, though I will be trying to get a full time cell phone in Siberia in the near future. I presently have a cell phone in Moscow, but I'm never actually there long enough to effectively make use of it.

One thing I have grown accustomed to since joining Schlumberger is how I am always transferred from one extreme to another. As it was beginning to get cold last year in Siberia, I hopped on a plane for training in Alexandria, Egypt. It had just begun snowing in Russia while at that time, Egypt was going through a drought. I then finished with Egypt just around Christmas time to arrive in Tennessee to be greeted by +65 degree weather. However, none of this prepared me for getting off a plane 2 weeks later in Siberia and greeted by a windy 30 degrees below freezing. This occurred twice more, leaving the snow in Russia to see the onset of spring in the States, as well as arriving in Sydney in the middle of their winter with hopes of surfing all along the coast. And yet, it continues… Just a few weeks ago, I was stranded on an oilfield in the middle of the forest, no sign of civilization for about 100 miles, and now I am sitting in a classroom in Edinburgh, Scotland's capital to complete the training I began in Egypt. One thing I can happily say is that life hasn't lacked in excitement since I began in Paris last year, though occasionally I am subject to the occasional day of sitting at the wellsite in the rain, soaked to the core, getting my entire coverall caked with mud while trying to successfully complete a job.

A few more things before I go… I understand this has been a long email and thanks for keeping up with it. I plan on being home sometime this Christmas, it seems I am one of the few people that have their schedules worked out to the point that they can get Christmas off, not even considering getting it off 2 years in a row. I hope to see all of you then. I started up a site a few months ago, which I haven't done a very good job updating (its surprisingly difficult to update something online when you don't even have a phone line i.e. the wellsite) Anyway, I hope to update it in the future, and besides it has all my past emails to all of you on it. So if by some mistake, or act of God, you failed to receive a past post, check it if you want.

For now, I want to say farewell, good luck to Matt on his future wedding plans, a thank you to all who sent me something for my birthday, even if I haven't physically seen most of it, and an additional thank you to the three of you that filled out a card the last minute to send with my mother on her trip to meet me in England.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Rich

Oh… and the website I referred to earlier is http://scio.blogspot.com

Same Old

I'm starting to feel a little more at home here. In the last two days, I've had pizza twice. The name was about the only thing in common with what I used to eat back home though. Fish and mushrooms, on a cream sauce... sounds like a meal you would get on the coast, however not somehting you would see on a pizza. I have finally been promoted, and am now thinking abotu where I want to go next. I can't get back into America until after the 29th of July, so thats out of the question. Where else can I go?

work, work, work

I am starting to get tired of all this work. In the last 10 days, I have been to 7 jobs. This is something, that in most locations would be a big deal, as you would make a bonus of about 1500 dollars. However, in Russia, things are a bit different. I made a total of 120 bucks for them in total. I can now safely say that I am not in this job for the money, but with that realization, I am begininning to wonder what a Chemical Engineer, with no petrogeophysical knowledge, coupled with a nonexistent vocabulary of Russian, is doing in Western Siberia. Just in case you wanted to know, I am in a city called Nizhnevartovsk at them moment. You can most likely find it on the map, its big enough.

Motivation

Motivation is the key... to a door I just can't seem to open right now.

Back in the thick of things

After a nice two weeks off, I am now back in Siberia. Can you believe it? It's still cold here, snow is on the ground, the ice doesn't even look like it ever melted in the first place. A far cry from the 70 degree weather I was feeling in the states.

First Real Blog

OK, I really don't know what was going on in my head when I made that first post. I had worked for 90 days straight putting in 12+ hours a day in work, think how you would act in that situation. I got this idea from Gaurav, I realized it would end up being a lot easier to update this occasionally than to worry about sending emails all the time. I'll still think about sending once in a while, but I'm getting lazy and the whole trip isn't as exciting and interesting as it once was... Hence, less to write about. Just a recap of who I am and what the hell I'm doing in Siberia.. After graduating from VU in ChE I got hired into an international company giving me the opportunity to travel and work in distant and obscure places. Little did I know that there was no limit to the distances they were willing to send me. I got a letter in the mail with my hiring information and my itinerary for training. I was to go to Paris for 2 weeks to learn the basics of the company with about 30 other people from around the world. The second page described my posting location and salary. It was a decent salary, but that's not what caught my attention. I was to be posted in a small city named Noyabrsk, in the middle of Siberia. Siberia.. A vast area with very little really known about it. I told my friends and family I was to be stationed in Siberia for my first job with very mixed reactions. Needless to say, I was a little worried, but decided to take the chance. Now, 6 months later, I've discussed culture, politics, and religion with more than 28 different nationalities, watched fireworks from the Eiffel Tower in Paris, been able to swim off the coast of France in Biarritz, snorkeled through coral reefs in the Red Sea at Sharm el Sheikh, Relaxed on the beaches of the Mediterranean in Alexandria, descended down to the depths of the Eqyptian Pyramids, celebrated both the Old and New Year in Siberia, felt -45°C for the first time, finally drank my first shot of real Russian Vodka (though they mostly drink Ukrainian here)... And my career has just begun.

I've escaped!

Finally, after months and months of throwing feces through the bars of my cage, I was able to get the guard (what kind of person applies to be security at the zoo?) pissed enough that he tried to get into my cage. I say try as he spent the better part of an hour trying to break the lock and at the same time dodging everything I was throwing at him. (It's amazing the laxatitive properties bananas have on monkeys). Well to make a long story short, I escaped. I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say that all I used was a tire swing, a broomstick, and my superior intellect.

Hmm... Did I say superior intellect? I seem to forget where I am at the moment. After escaping from the zoo about 6 months ago, I decided to go off on an adventure and get out of the States. It seems that monkeys aren't too welcome on the streets of New York. Anyways, I remembered hearing old stories from my Great Grandfather, an alpha male in our troop named Bet (people always seemed to make fun of him for his name). The stories were about our ancient ancestors, who long ago traveled up into the north, in search of... Well, I don't exactly know what they went up there for, but I was sure it was something worthwhile. With these thought in my head, and an advertisement that flights on all Delta airlines charged no extra fees for pets, I got off the plane at Sheremetyevo and began my exploration of what is so stereotypically called "Mother Russia"...

Since the last time I wrote, I have travelled about 2000 km by both truck and train completing jobs and getting moved around. If you remember, I was first stationed in a little city smack dab right in the middle (well, maybe a little north of the middle) of Siberia. Noyabrsk (the name of the city) was almost starting to become home to me, I was "meeting" girls (though I say meeting losely as "meeting" and "talking" have become two seperate things to me at this point). I also made some good friends, and was slowly teaching all of the city how to speak English. So I was all settled into this quant, very cold city, when I get told I am going about 400 km south west of the city to another Schlumberger location. Not a bad deal really, as the new location is better developed, and in my ignorant mind 400 km south west should make a difference when it comes to climate. Well I was right about the difference, but it wasn't as I expected, that place was even colder than Noyabrsk. I did however, get a chance to finally live with a Russian.
An operator and I got a flat maybe a 10 minute drive from the base and I finally got to see a little of what Russian life was like. I didn't really realize what I was missing out when I was stuck in Schlumberger facilities in Noyabrsk. Living with just one other guy who only spoke Russian (except for the occasional AC/DC words he picks up in the songs he listens to maybe 4 or 5 times a day... I mean really, he puts Jims fanatacism for the group to shame) well, in the 2 weeks a lived with him, I showed a drastic increase in my language abilities, partly due to the fact that there was nothing else to do but watch Russian TV and talk to him. Living in a Russian flat was also a bit of an experience in and of itself. When I first walked in, I noticed the marked technological improvements that the former tenants had made. Both the shower and toilet were now gravity based devices. Whenever you needed to flush the toilet, you just had to pull a little string attached to the wall, and wallah, about 3 liters of water are released from a container up by your head to travel through a small tube right into the toilet. Shower is basically the same idea, however you there is a fixture on it to spray water instead of directly pouring it. Really not too bad once you get used to it, though sometimes, in the case of a leak you might unintentionally have a bit of a shower while sitting on the toilet.
Winter is finally coming to a close here. Only 3 or 4 months left! It was amazing though when I first started seeing the sun actually coming out of the clouds in mid February. I did not realize how much I had missed it until that point, but seeing the sun coming out, and feeling its warmth after being in the dim light and the cold really just made my day.
Since the stay in the flat, I have been living in another city about a 6 hour train drive east of the last location. Here, I get a chance to actually do some of the work I was meant to do. In the last 2 weeks, I have slept on 4 different couches in 3 different cities waiting for new jobs to come up, I actually forget what it feels like to sleep with a pillow and a bed. I am getting work done though, I do get a chance to do jobs, and actually am getting a chance to help with the explosives (you need to blow up the rocks in the ground to get the oil out). Soon, my promotion will come, though its getting a little tricky now, as I am ilegally in the region. Russia is a bit stringent on rules and keeping tabs on their foreigners. Much as I would expect the US to be, but I never really get a chance to see it at home. Time will sort out this problem though, I will most likely get registered soon, and if I don't then I will get deported from the region (a very exciting experience from the sound of it). Have no fear however, I am in no real danger, I just need paperwork completed, and the current conditions do not allow me to do it.

As I have told you my life story over the last couple months, I only find it fitting to actually answer some of the requests made by email and explain a little bit about Russian life that I have experienced so far.

There is no such thing as nonspicy mustard
If you order soup during dinner, everyone will definitly know you are a foriegner.
Milk no longer needs to be refridgerated thanks to a german process.
If you live in siberia, you can save energy costs by turning off your refridgerator and just opening a window.
Borsch, though probably the most commonly known soup from Russia is completely different each time I try it.
There are no speed limits in Russia, just signs in the ground with numbers on them.
You can get out of any trouble with the Russian police for only 200 rubles (5 dollars)
Mayonaise can be put on everything. Soup, Eggs, Pancakes, Break, Caviar, Potatoes...
Every store in the city has a complete well-stocked liquor section.
Vodka is cheaper and better here. (2 dollars for 1 liter)
Because Vodka is cheaper, you can drink more
Because Vodka is better, it is easier to drink
Because Vodka is cheaper and better, you have more headaches the next day
According to most Russians, the best cure for a headache is more Vodka
Girls in Russia are taught from birth to never leave the house without looking their very best.
Honey comes in all forms, from a thick paste to a light colored liquid.
Bowling is now becoming a popular sport in Russia.
As soon as the temperature reaches 30 °F, everything begins to melt.
Your moisture in your breath actually can freeze your nose shut at -35 °C
Never touch a piece of metal to your tongue during Siberian winters.
Russian trucks were made for Russia, American and Japanese trucks were not.
In Siberia you don't need to clean up after your dog, as the snow will do it for you.
The snow preserves everything it covers like a refridgerator would.
When all the snow begins to melt around mid May, the city will stink for a few days.
Some of the worst English music I have yet to hear I have heard in Russia.
Most Russian girls want two things: money, and to get out of Russia.
Most Russian guys want two things: Russian Girls, and to fight with foreigners trying to take their women. (not me)
When Germany invaded Russia during WW2, millions of citizens lost their lives protecting the country.
As a result, Russia believes they won WW2 by themselves and honor their lost friends and family during Defender's Day.
There are two new year celebrations in Russia, the old and new New year, both not celebrated by Schlumberger
Two other holidays, Womens Day and Oilfield Workers Day, are also not celebrated by Schlumberger
Superstition: If you step on someone elses foot, accidently or otherwise, you will most likely get into an argument with them.
Never talk to a Russian while a door frame is between the two of you.
Always shake hands with everyone in the office every time you come in.
Privyet is the commonly used phrase for hello, however it is not in the dictionary.
In foreign, less developed countries, you do not throw toilet paper in the toilet, but in the trashcan next to it.
Russian buildings are very well heated through hot pipes running throughout them.

OK, thats about it for now. I wish all of you the best from over here, and once I settle down to a certain place I will get a mailing address set up and begin mailing things back home. I hope that all of you are doing well, write to me when you get the chance. And, if any of you want to join me, I might be going to New Zealand in the next couple months.

Later,

I have decided to make an entry once again into the siberian chronicles, or whatever you guys back home like to term these letters i am sending back. I'll tell you a little bit more about Egypt before i continue on to how I spent New Years Eve in Siberia. I was one month i Egypt last time I wrote and heading toward the worst part of school. I thankfully got through all of that with little to no problems. I had good training and think I am pretty well prepared to get the job done back in russia. The last "job", as it is called, consisted of me working outside for about 16 hours getting all the dirty work done and then spending an additional 9 hours finalizing the paperwork to give to the client. I do all this, only 5 days before I leave egypt for good and it turns out I wasn't even graded, a lot of hard work and stress for nothing if you ask me. Regardless, I passed with permission to go back to Russia (I still can't beieve I asked to go to Russia, though it is quite an experience), and I also got to see the busy streets of Cairo. One weekend I was able to visit the legendary pyramids in Cairo with a few friends. I know this probably isnt what you want to hear, but a documentary on the Discovery Channel is probably more enlightening and pleasurable. However, you wouldn't get the same feel for the general atmosphere of the place. Walking through the tombs of forgotten engineers and architects, riding a camel between pyramids over 4000 years old, oh.. and lets not forget actually going into one of the pyramids. I had the chance to get into the "basement" of the newest pyramid, one built for the pharoah, Luxor. I dont think that the ancient egyptians were the same size as myself, I had a little difficulty getting inside and going down all the steps. Once down there, you are hit with a sudden wave of extreme humidity and the smell of mildew. The heat is most likely from the amount of people down there, also probably to the inability for any fresh air to circulate. Cairo has become a major tourist point primarily due to these pyramids and the ancient Egyptian culture, so you can understand how many tourists there were in Cairo. One of the major changes, and sort of disappointing when you see it, is the presence of Cairo city right at the foot of the pyramids. I mean literally, at the footsteps of the sphinx Everywhere you go, there are people attempting to pedal your money, trying to cheat you out of a pound or two (thats the currency in egypt, the egyptian pound). The people mean well, it has just become their job over the years to take advantage of the tourism in the city and to profit from it. Unlike many people have asked me, I didnt recieve any harsh treatment or undue criticism for my being a US national. There was one instance in which i was told that I would be unable to purchase an item if i were american, but fortunatly i was English that day. This is primarily a result of the entire Iraq incidents, but I wouldnt really count out that there would not be people in a major city in the US that would harbor similar feelings toward arabians. If there is one thing I have learned over here, it is that ignorance comes in all shapes, sizes, and cultures. I arrived in the states not long after i finished training at the center near Alexandria, Egypt (where i had been training) I'm glad I got to see most of you, if only for a little. 2 weeks isnt much time if you wanna catch up on 6 months of experiences, but its better than getting stuck for 8 additional weeks in siberia without seeing any of you. I am sending this email from Siberia, last time i wrote from here it didnt seem much like the siberia many people were expecting and so shocked to hear about (you know, the cold dark dreary place where parents send their misbehaved offspring?). Well, its now that time. For the last week while at my moms, I spent a significant amount of money (mostly thanks to those of you who sent gift cards) at a little store I discovered before my trip to Europe called REI. The selection isnt like that of a department store, i mean you cant purchase a chainsaw on the bottom floor and then go to the second for bed linens, but for the type of conditions im going into, it provides almost everything i could need. So after freaking out a little with the realization that I was going to spend the rest of my winter in Siberia, I thought it would be beneficial to get a coat that would hold up against the elements. All I owned prior to the purchase was a fleece which i figured would do about as much good by itself in the cold as a brown paper bag. After this, it was about time to rush packing my things and get onto the plane. I had a 14 hour flight with 2 connections, 1 in cincinatti and another in JFK. Arriving in Moscow at 11 the following day allowed me to meet up with one of my friends in the area, and spend a good portion of the day walking around Moscow and seeing it for the second time. Last time a went through, I was able to walk around most of central Moscow and see the tourist sites, st. basils, the kremlin, the red square. This time, since I had a muscovite with me, we went on a different route, and I got to see the shopping areas locations were people my age hang out. If there is one complaint about Moscow, it would be that it is a very expensive city, a meal at a fast food place costs about 15 dollars, (though that is with the purchase of two beers). The only thing that I have found in Moscow that is relatively cheap is entrance to public exhibits, like museums and art galleries. For about 2 dollars you can get into almost any museum in Moscow, even less if you have remembered to keep your student ID from college.. After moscow, i left for Noyabrsk at 2 in the morning with my large, overstuffed backpack primarily filled with warm clothing to help me survive the cold everyone had scared me of. Getting off the plane the following morning, I felt a bit of the cold.. Moscow was about -5 C when I was there, but Noyabrsk was -22 C when I got off. Im glad I had my down jacket, but at that moment i wished i had bought a pair of down trousers, down socks, and a down hat, because every part of my body not covered by my coat was freezing. needless to say, i got into a cab and went straight to the office, after a detour to one of the guy's hotel and also stopping at the cafeteria to get something to eat. I arrive at the office with a warm welcome from all the people, and learn that a job would begin tomorrow. (Now you have to remember at this point that I had been up for 2 days straight and had no idea what "today" was. So what do i do? what any engineer aspiring for a promotion would do, offer to join the crew and help out. It was only until 2 hours later i realized i had sacraficed my new years celebrations for my job... needless to say, i wasnt too thrilled with the idea, though i was looking forward to going out and seeing how much i had learned since the last time i was in russia. And thats that, I am at the location now, a wellsite about 200 miles north east of Noyabrsk freezing my butt of waiting for us to finish and go home. I have learned a lot and its great that I can actually talk to the engineers now about technical things, but this weather is unbelievable. Just last night it was -35. It really wasnt too bad if you stayed out for less than a minute, but anymore than that and it goes straight to the bone. The only thing that is keeping me warm out here are the winter coveralls I recieved on my return. I was given a pair of thick winter coveralls that would be too warm for any other location and also a parka thats about twice as heavy as the coat I bought at REI. Oh, and my boots are also rated for cold weather, it says on the tag they are rated for -100 C conditions (I personally hope i never get close to seeing that, but it is good to know that they would keep me warm on the face of the moon.) Until the next time I get a chance to write, I wish you all a happy (though belated) new years and a great year to come. Thank you for the emails and letters of interest, I will write again soon portraying my adventures in completing my training and becoming a full fledged engineer... (see if i didnt know any better, that would almost sound like it was exciting :) )

Bye Y'all

I have decided to make an entry once again into the siberian chronicles, or whatever you guys back home like to term these letters i am sending back. I'll tell you a little bit more about Egypt before i continue on to how I spent New Years Eve in Siberia. I was one month i Egypt last time I wrote and heading toward the worst part of school. I thankfully got through all of that with little to no problems. I had good training and think I am pretty well prepared to get the job done back in russia. The last "job", as it is called, consisted of me working outside for about 16 hours getting all the dirty work done and then spending an additional 9 hours finalizing the paperwork to give to the client. I do all this, only 5 days before I leave egypt for good and it turns out I wasn't even graded, a lot of hard work and stress for nothing if you ask me. Regardless, I passed with permission to go back to Russia (I still can't beieve I asked to go to Russia, though it is quite an experience), and I also got to see the busy streets of Cairo. One weekend I was able to visit the legendary pyramids in Cairo with a few friends. I know this probably isnt what you want to hear, but a documentary on the Discovery Channel is probably more enlightening and pleasurable. However, you wouldn't get the same feel for the general atmosphere of the place. Walking through the tombs of forgotten engineers and architects, riding a camel between pyramids over 4000 years old, oh.. and lets not forget actually going into one of the pyramids. I had the chance to get into the "basement" of the newest pyramid, one built for the pharoah, Luxor. I dont think that the ancient egyptians were the same size as myself, I had a little difficulty getting inside and going down all the steps. Once down there, you are hit with a sudden wave of extreme humidity and the smell of mildew. The heat is most likely from the amount of people down there, also probably to the inability for any fresh air to circulate. Cairo has become a major tourist point primarily due to these pyramids and the ancient Egyptian culture, so you can understand how many tourists there were in Cairo. One of the major changes, and sort of disappointing when you see it, is the presence of Cairo city right at the foot of the pyramids. I mean literally, at the footsteps of the sphinx Everywhere you go, there are people attempting to pedal your money, trying to cheat you out of a pound or two (thats the currency in egypt, the egyptian pound). The people mean well, it has just become their job over the years to take advantage of the tourism in the city and to profit from it. Unlike many people have asked me, I didnt recieve any harsh treatment or undue criticism for my being a US national. There was one instance in which i was told that I would be unable to purchase an item if i were american, but fortunatly i was English that day. This is primarily a result of the entire Iraq incidents, but I wouldnt really count out that there would not be people in a major city in the US that would harbor similar feelings toward arabians. If there is one thing I have learned over here, it is that ignorance comes in all shapes, sizes, and cultures. I arrived in the states not long after i finished training at the center near Alexandria, Egypt (where i had been training) I'm glad I got to see most of you, if only for a little. 2 weeks isnt much time if you wanna catch up on 6 months of experiences, but its better than getting stuck for 8 additional weeks in siberia without seeing any of you. I am sending this email from Siberia, last time i wrote from here it didnt seem much like the siberia many people were expecting and so shocked to hear about (you know, the cold dark dreary place where parents send their misbehaved offspring?). Well, its now that time. For the last week while at my moms, I spent a significant amount of money (mostly thanks to those of you who sent gift cards) at a little store I discovered before my trip to Europe called REI. The selection isnt like that of a department store, i mean you cant purchase a chainsaw on the bottom floor and then go to the second for bed linens, but for the type of conditions im going into, it provides almost everything i could need. So after freaking out a little with the realization that I was going to spend the rest of my winter in Siberia, I thought it would be beneficial to get a coat that would hold up against the elements. All I owned prior to the purchase was a fleece which i figured would do about as much good by itself in the cold as a brown paper bag. After this, it was about time to rush packing my things and get onto the plane. I had a 14 hour flight with 2 connections, 1 in cincinatti and another in JFK. Arriving in Moscow at 11 the following day allowed me to meet up with one of my friends in the area, and spend a good portion of the day walking around Moscow and seeing it for the second time. Last time a went through, I was able to walk around most of central Moscow and see the tourist sites, st. basils, the kremlin, the red square. This time, since I had a muscovite with me, we went on a different route, and I got to see the shopping areas locations were people my age hang out. If there is one complaint about Moscow, it would be that it is a very expensive city, a meal at a fast food place costs about 15 dollars, (though that is with the purchase of two beers). The only thing that I have found in Moscow that is relatively cheap is entrance to public exhibits, like museums and art galleries. For about 2 dollars you can get into almost any museum in Moscow, even less if you have remembered to keep your student ID from college.. After moscow, i left for Noyabrsk at 2 in the morning with my large, overstuffed backpack primarily filled with warm clothing to help me survive the cold everyone had scared me of. Getting off the plane the following morning, I felt a bit of the cold.. Moscow was about -5 C when I was there, but Noyabrsk was -22 C when I got off. Im glad I had my down jacket, but at that moment i wished i had bought a pair of down trousers, down socks, and a down hat, because every part of my body not covered by my coat was freezing. needless to say, i got into a cab and went straight to the office, after a detour to one of the guy's hotel and also stopping at the cafeteria to get something to eat. I arrive at the office with a warm welcome from all the people, and learn that a job would begin tomorrow. (Now you have to remember at this point that I had been up for 2 days straight and had no idea what "today" was. So what do i do? what any engineer aspiring for a promotion would do, offer to join the crew and help out. It was only until 2 hours later i realized i had sacraficed my new years celebrations for my job... needless to say, i wasnt too thrilled with the idea, though i was looking forward to going out and seeing how much i had learned since the last time i was in russia. And thats that, I am at the location now, a wellsite about 200 miles north east of Noyabrsk freezing my butt of waiting for us to finish and go home. I have learned a lot and its great that I can actually talk to the engineers now about technical things, but this weather is unbelievable. Just last night it was -35. It really wasnt too bad if you stayed out for less than a minute, but anymore than that and it goes straight to the bone. The only thing that is keeping me warm out here are the winter coveralls I recieved on my return. I was given a pair of thick winter coveralls that would be too warm for any other location and also a parka thats about twice as heavy as the coat I bought at REI. Oh, and my boots are also rated for cold weather, it says on the tag they are rated for -100 C conditions (I personally hope i never get close to seeing that, but it is good to know that they would keep me warm on the face of the moon.) Until the next time I get a chance to write, I wish you all a happy (though belated) new years and a great year to come. Thank you for the emails and letters of interest, I will write again soon portraying my adventures in completing my training and becoming a full fledged engineer... (see if i didnt know any better, that would almost sound like it was exciting :) )

Bye Y'all